Agape | Feelings in the night

Have you ever woken from a dream, compelled by the depth of emotion you felt, clearly remembering parts of the dream and intent on taking full advantage of the compulsion? Better still have you ever felt that deep longing and total surrender that only seems to occur in a dream?

Knowing that this is the way to live life—beginning the day in deep meditation, exploring the state of awareness that fills the moment—I moved strongly into my waking state. What if I lived my life with that kind of commitment, that kind of given-totally feeling? This inner state is known and clear and yet so unexpressed.
I wander back to the dream, wondering why the message woke me so cleanly. Was it the content, the story? What evoked such a depth of longing and commitment? Have I known this feeling before in the waking state?

The truthful answer is no. Something about its very compulsion probably never was expressed outwardly. Somehow the danger to do so was keenly sensed.
Perhaps monks and nuns in the medieval period had the opportunity for this total surrender to God as they saw it. Given to the monastery, absolved from the daily round, able to pray continuously, with no thought of food or shelter—this was their work!

Oh, how my heart longs to give itself to this passion, this longing for something Universal, without thought or concern. The joy of the intensity of surrender to Life’s compulsions as they arise, the part of the dream that awoke me.

I resolve to be fully awake in my daily routine, noticing the flow of Life in every moment and matching my expression to that intent. Giving myself to Life, honoring the joyous response felt so deeply in the dream. Way to go!

– Ruth Buckingham

RUTH BUCKINGHAM is a teacher of Primal Spirituality and travels internationally offering courses on spiritual awakening and transformation. Her practical approach encourages people to discover the truth of themselves.

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